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Chastity should come spontaneously based on the real attraction of love to husband or wife. Chastity should not be forced and hence, should not be due to fear or due to some financial attraction etc. If one says ‘Oh wife be chaste’, it is not a real Chastity. Or ‘I am giving money, I am giving all comfort be chaste’, it is also not real chastity. Wife or husband is attracted to each other’s personality inspite of all difficulties and all tragedies and when that attraction exists then it is real chastity.
Free sex is not correct because we make an oath before God. We [husband and wife] should be loyal to each other. Jesus condemns this and Quran also condemns. All the other religions also condemn this. Sex is only for the production of the children. Jesus lived only for 32 years and never had any sexual ideas even in that young age. Adi Sankara lived only for 32 years and never had any sexual ideas.
Swami Vivekanada lived upto 39 years. He had a beautiful personality but never had such ideas. When the soul is very much immersed in the divine thought, divine mission, this sexual idea can never attract him. Suppose you are engaged in doing some research in science and if you are deeply interested and involved, the idea of sex will not come. Similarly, when the mind is completely absorbed in the divine thoughts about God, such idea will never arise. Sex is only a mental idea and is based on some hormone. It is a question of mental involvement or mental thinking.
The momentary sexual happiness is nothing compared to the bliss one gets from the God. The basic thing is that the idea of sex comes only when there is no work or work is less. When somebody is involved in some good work, the idea of sex does not come. When all the interest is concentrated on God, the idea of sex will never arise. However, this should not be done forcefully. It should come spontaneously. That is very important.
Suppose, wife betrays husband or husband betrays wife. The other person need not worry about it. Just forget it and be involved in your work because you are not related with the other soul after the death and everybody is free with their own account. One soul will not recognize the other soul. Hence, one need not give much importance to that. If wife is also engaged in spiritual things then this problem will never arise in life. So, always see that the entire family is involved in the mission of God. First, the person should try with the family and then a good atmosphere exists within the family and when everybody is involved in spiritual effort, such ideas will not come.
Chastity means singleness. Chastity is being only with husband or being only with wife. But, if somebody is only with God, he derives bliss from God. It is also Chastity. Chastity is Satya Vrata. The real Chastity is to think only about God, have devotion on God and being loyal to God. It is the real Chastity or actual chastity. Chaste and unchaste are temporary only as far as worldly relations are considered. It is just like a dream. When dream is over, everything is gone. Suppose somebody is very chaste in dream and somebody is not chaste in dream. When one awakens from the dream, both are useless or meaningless. So, one need not worry or that issue need not be given much importance because the real issue is not identified and the unnecessary issue is given undue importance. The real issue of getting the grace of God within this human life, which is the real issue, is forgotten. So, all other meaningless nonsense issues have become the main issue. All these people ask these questions because they have forgotten the main issue.
For example, when a big line and small line are present, small line becomes small and when the big line is rubbed off, the small line becomes big. When one is awakened, one understands the real issue. He has to go to job and work and that is the real issue. When he sleeps in the dream all the unnecessary issues become the real issues. Therefore, it depends on the state of the person whether he is under the ignorance or whether he is under the knowledge. Rama told to Sita that I am liberating you, you can go and marry My brother or Vibishana, I do not have any objection, like that He told. He never cared for it. In that free atmosphere, when wife is very loyal to Rama, it is due to the real attraction of love. Chastity should come spontaneously based on the real attraction of love to husband or wife. Chastity should not be forced and hence, should not be due to fear or due to some financial attraction etc. If one says ‘Oh wife be chaste’, it is not a real Chastity. Or ‘I am giving money, I am giving all comfort be chaste’, it is also not real chastity. Wife or husband is attracted to each other’s personality inspite of all difficulties and all tragedies and when that attraction exists then it is real chastity.
For such attraction, personality should be developed. The grace of God only develops the personality. The personality is developed only through spirituality. He may be a big king, may have all comforts but his wife may not be chaste. Therefore, the personality never comes through materialism. Personality comes only through divinity. Sita is attracted by such divine personality of Rama but not because Rama is rich or king. Ravana was richer than Rama. However, Sita never got attracted to Ravana.
Again, if such spontaneous attraction does not exist, then again one should not worry. Suppose I do not have the personality to attract some other soul, why should I worry for that? Whether a soul is attracted or not, it is only temporary. The very thoughts that I should attract somebody and she should be chaste to me, are again due to egoism only. Every soul should think that he should attract God, the real personality, the divine personality.
Getting attracted to God should be your motto. Attracting other souls should not be the motto. If attracting other souls is your motto, then all these problems come. If you think, ‘I could not attract that soul 100%, O! Somebody attracted more than me’ etc., then problems arise. Suppose My motto is only to attract God, attracting others will never become My issue. These problems will never arise.
